Engagement shoot and gym

So we received our engagement shoot photos. I was initially very unhappy with them. It seems our photographer didn't edit them AT ALL! I expected a bit of editing here and there but nothing! My stockings are sticking out in several photos and some poses are sooo unflattering I look pregnant again!!!! There

Where a few nice ones that i uploaded but out of 90 pics I loved 38. That's less than half!! I seriously hope he does better job with the wedding photos as he is a

Very expensive photographer and I'm not paying him over R20000 for shit pics. 

Another concern is me. I genuinely looked bad in some of them....

I'm bigger than what I thought I was. I'm not looking forward to the wedding at all. I regret doing this. We should just have left it at the marriage officer. I'm also seriously stressing about leaving my daughter for so long. I just want all

Of this to be over

Another area of stress for me right now is out canada immigration. The Canadian services called yesterday and said we would get a full result this weekend. I'm shitting myself. I'm so nauseous with worry over everything....

Work politics

I am the worst blog keeper ever!! Seriously.... But I have the excuse of having started working again. Back in the chaos and drama that is lab work :( 

I've come to realize that I am not a person for politics. I have officially been at this company for 6 years today. Can I say it's been fun? Definitely not but it's been one hell of a learning curve. I have the displeasure of working for a boss who is a pro at playing politics. I am not. And I've realized this when I started work again after 4 months of maternity leave and discovered that a position I have wanted for 3 years had been given so someone else while I was gone. And the reason? They thought I wouldn't want to be in a management position with a baby as it would mean longer hours etc. BULLSHIT. I am not fucking stupid nor was I born yesterday. I know the reason I wasn't chosen and this particular person was but I don't want to go into it on my blog. Let's just say it's a ridiculously unfair situation. I am however taking it all in my stride. My boss doesn't know I am immigrating and I'll be enjoying the moment I get to tell her I'm leaving. Besides this, I'm taking joy in the fact that I still get my normal salary as well as not having all the responsibility and shit that goes with being a manager. I'm going to focus on my new little family until it is time to restart our lives in Canada. 

With regards to that, I'm still waiting to hear from the immigration lawyers. It hasn't been the 60 days that they said it would take but it's damn almost and I haven't heard anything? Emailed them now to enquire what is happening. 

Being in a snail shit position in the lab also gives me more time to focus on my health. I'm getting very serious with regard to my fitness and have now emailed Heidi Somers enquiring about costs with regard to getting a personalized workout and diet from her. Will keep you updated on that.

This is about the most exciting that has happened in my life.

Have a awesome day readers :)))))

Anxiety

Is there anyone else there that suffers from post partum anxiety? I think I have it. I worry about everything when it comes to my baba!!! Everything! And I don't think it's normal mommy worry, i think it's PPA level worry... But also in my defense, it hasn't been the easiest 11 weeks. Even though she is actually very well behaved and not a colic baby, she's caused me some stress. For example, she had a heart murmur at 4 weeks which ended up being PPS. Luckily the physiological and not the structural one so it should sort itself out by 6 mths. Now at 11 weeks, she has torticullis. This is where her neck tends to one side due to muscle stiffness or a STM tumour. Her first physio app is today at 13:00.... She's going to show us stretching exercises we need to do to get her neck to stretch the other way as well. 

I know none of these things are serious compared to what other moms go through but as a FTM anything is serious to me.

But otherwise, I'm hoping to get my AP corset today and the toys I ordered for my nu nu bug :)))) I'll do a post on the AP corset to determine if it really is worth the value. 

So we're back from the physio and it is tort neck. The physio says it's pretty severe but it's treatable. The crap thing is that we have to do stretch exercises every 2 hrs and she screams in pain because it's a knotted muscle. It breaks my heart.... I can barely handle it.... But it had to be done. If we do it, her neck should be ok in 3 weeks. I'll keep updated on her progress.

Otherwise no other deliveries today. I'm hoping tomorrow now! 

Just wanted to share a pic of

My nails. My nail tech is awesome :)

Canada

I had a tough night.... My baby woke at infrequent times so i didn't get a lot of sleep. Also stress is getting to me a bit..... My husband and I are applying for emigration to Canada. I don't know if I want us to be successful? I HATE change   And this is major.... But we'll apply (the people are going to call at 10) and see what happens....

Schedule: nu nu has her vaccination today.... Not a good day for me. Also I have waxes at 3:45 and Botox consultation. Really want to have that done for the wedding. Otherwise Sternberg might fit his waistcoat today. Things are finally coming together for the wedding! Cookies are also fully paid :) 

The cookies we're doing 

My husbands outfit :))))

He's going to look incredibly handsome! :)

Good sleep night!

Hallulujah!!!

My nu nu

Slept from 21:00 till 1:20, then from 2:00 till 6:15 :))))) it's 8:17 now and she's napping again :) so proud! 

Also I won something on ebay that I had wanted for ages! The red Jena bra was on my lust list for a while now but to buy it would have been quite a expense. Got it on ebay for R300!! Friggin awesome! :)

Chilling now with Jerry springer and a cup if coffee before my nu nu wakes up again.

Schedule: again, pretty morning day. Gym tonight and that's that. Calming myself for my nu nu vaccination tomorrow :(

What a night....

What a night.....

My little one did not want to settle after her 23:30 feed. So i got up and helped my husband. She eventually went down at 2:30. Up again at 5:30. Its 7:05 and shes still sleeping. Im going to leave her till 8. Hubbies busy making me  breakfast and this is my lifeline today.

 

It's 11:03 and nu nu is down again. So far she has been pretty good with her schedule. She's sneezing and coughing occasionally which still has me worried but as my mom said, she's smiling, eating, sleeping well so I guess unless one of those are affected, she's fine? 

I don't think she'll sleep till 14:00 as she hasn't drunk enough but we'll see....

:) My nu nu

Todays makeup and clothes. I'm not going anywhere expect gym tonight so makeup is very basic. 

Lingerie:

Kiss me deadly Sirena set. Bra runs a bit small but otherwise very pretty

Outfit is a basic black dress from Forever new. My stomach isn't feeling great today so I'm going for comfort.

My scent: DKNY apple

My colour: YSL pale pink

Today is water slim day as well so expecting to run to the bathroom often.

Movie day: we're the Millers and Sex and the city. Again :)

Managed to stick to my diet and get my weight training in so super excited.

21:25 here so I'm headed to bed

Schedule: luckily i dont have anything scheduled today expect for gym later tonight. Maybe i could take my nu nu for a walk at lunch? We'll see how it goes.

Post baby weight

Ai.... Not happy. Baby is exactly 1 mth old today. My body is not where I had hoped it would. I'm really starting to get worried about my wedding. I don't think I'm going to fit in my dress.... Shit....

My weight today: 72kg

Clothing size 12

Thigh: 61cm

Hips: 98cm

Today I start getting serious about my health. Taking regular supps, gym, diet and water....

Will cont to post progress