Engagement shoot and gym

So we received our engagement shoot photos. I was initially very unhappy with them. It seems our photographer didn't edit them AT ALL! I expected a bit of editing here and there but nothing! My stockings are sticking out in several photos and some poses are sooo unflattering I look pregnant again!!!! There

Where a few nice ones that i uploaded but out of 90 pics I loved 38. That's less than half!! I seriously hope he does better job with the wedding photos as he is a

Very expensive photographer and I'm not paying him over R20000 for shit pics. 

Another concern is me. I genuinely looked bad in some of them....

I'm bigger than what I thought I was. I'm not looking forward to the wedding at all. I regret doing this. We should just have left it at the marriage officer. I'm also seriously stressing about leaving my daughter for so long. I just want all

Of this to be over

Another area of stress for me right now is out canada immigration. The Canadian services called yesterday and said we would get a full result this weekend. I'm shitting myself. I'm so nauseous with worry over everything....

Work politics

I am the worst blog keeper ever!! Seriously.... But I have the excuse of having started working again. Back in the chaos and drama that is lab work :( 

I've come to realize that I am not a person for politics. I have officially been at this company for 6 years today. Can I say it's been fun? Definitely not but it's been one hell of a learning curve. I have the displeasure of working for a boss who is a pro at playing politics. I am not. And I've realized this when I started work again after 4 months of maternity leave and discovered that a position I have wanted for 3 years had been given so someone else while I was gone. And the reason? They thought I wouldn't want to be in a management position with a baby as it would mean longer hours etc. BULLSHIT. I am not fucking stupid nor was I born yesterday. I know the reason I wasn't chosen and this particular person was but I don't want to go into it on my blog. Let's just say it's a ridiculously unfair situation. I am however taking it all in my stride. My boss doesn't know I am immigrating and I'll be enjoying the moment I get to tell her I'm leaving. Besides this, I'm taking joy in the fact that I still get my normal salary as well as not having all the responsibility and shit that goes with being a manager. I'm going to focus on my new little family until it is time to restart our lives in Canada. 

With regards to that, I'm still waiting to hear from the immigration lawyers. It hasn't been the 60 days that they said it would take but it's damn almost and I haven't heard anything? Emailed them now to enquire what is happening. 

Being in a snail shit position in the lab also gives me more time to focus on my health. I'm getting very serious with regard to my fitness and have now emailed Heidi Somers enquiring about costs with regard to getting a personalized workout and diet from her. Will keep you updated on that.

This is about the most exciting that has happened in my life.

Have a awesome day readers :)))))

Anxiety

Is there anyone else there that suffers from post partum anxiety? I think I have it. I worry about everything when it comes to my baba!!! Everything! And I don't think it's normal mommy worry, i think it's PPA level worry... But also in my defense, it hasn't been the easiest 11 weeks. Even though she is actually very well behaved and not a colic baby, she's caused me some stress. For example, she had a heart murmur at 4 weeks which ended up being PPS. Luckily the physiological and not the structural one so it should sort itself out by 6 mths. Now at 11 weeks, she has torticullis. This is where her neck tends to one side due to muscle stiffness or a STM tumour. Her first physio app is today at 13:00.... She's going to show us stretching exercises we need to do to get her neck to stretch the other way as well. 

I know none of these things are serious compared to what other moms go through but as a FTM anything is serious to me.

But otherwise, I'm hoping to get my AP corset today and the toys I ordered for my nu nu bug :)))) I'll do a post on the AP corset to determine if it really is worth the value. 

So we're back from the physio and it is tort neck. The physio says it's pretty severe but it's treatable. The crap thing is that we have to do stretch exercises every 2 hrs and she screams in pain because it's a knotted muscle. It breaks my heart.... I can barely handle it.... But it had to be done. If we do it, her neck should be ok in 3 weeks. I'll keep updated on her progress.

Otherwise no other deliveries today. I'm hoping tomorrow now! 

Just wanted to share a pic of

My nails. My nail tech is awesome :)

Canada

I had a tough night.... My baby woke at infrequent times so i didn't get a lot of sleep. Also stress is getting to me a bit..... My husband and I are applying for emigration to Canada. I don't know if I want us to be successful? I HATE change   And this is major.... But we'll apply (the people are going to call at 10) and see what happens....

Schedule: nu nu has her vaccination today.... Not a good day for me. Also I have waxes at 3:45 and Botox consultation. Really want to have that done for the wedding. Otherwise Sternberg might fit his waistcoat today. Things are finally coming together for the wedding! Cookies are also fully paid :) 

The cookies we're doing 

My husbands outfit :))))

He's going to look incredibly handsome! :)

Good sleep night!

Hallulujah!!!

My nu nu

Slept from 21:00 till 1:20, then from 2:00 till 6:15 :))))) it's 8:17 now and she's napping again :) so proud! 

Also I won something on ebay that I had wanted for ages! The red Jena bra was on my lust list for a while now but to buy it would have been quite a expense. Got it on ebay for R300!! Friggin awesome! :)

Chilling now with Jerry springer and a cup if coffee before my nu nu wakes up again.

Schedule: again, pretty morning day. Gym tonight and that's that. Calming myself for my nu nu vaccination tomorrow :(

What a night....

What a night.....

My little one did not want to settle after her 23:30 feed. So i got up and helped my husband. She eventually went down at 2:30. Up again at 5:30. Its 7:05 and shes still sleeping. Im going to leave her till 8. Hubbies busy making me  breakfast and this is my lifeline today.

 

It's 11:03 and nu nu is down again. So far she has been pretty good with her schedule. She's sneezing and coughing occasionally which still has me worried but as my mom said, she's smiling, eating, sleeping well so I guess unless one of those are affected, she's fine? 

I don't think she'll sleep till 14:00 as she hasn't drunk enough but we'll see....

:) My nu nu

Todays makeup and clothes. I'm not going anywhere expect gym tonight so makeup is very basic. 

Lingerie:

Kiss me deadly Sirena set. Bra runs a bit small but otherwise very pretty

Outfit is a basic black dress from Forever new. My stomach isn't feeling great today so I'm going for comfort.

My scent: DKNY apple

My colour: YSL pale pink

Today is water slim day as well so expecting to run to the bathroom often.

Movie day: we're the Millers and Sex and the city. Again :)

Managed to stick to my diet and get my weight training in so super excited.

21:25 here so I'm headed to bed

Schedule: luckily i dont have anything scheduled today expect for gym later tonight. Maybe i could take my nu nu for a walk at lunch? We'll see how it goes.

Post baby weight

Ai.... Not happy. Baby is exactly 1 mth old today. My body is not where I had hoped it would. I'm really starting to get worried about my wedding. I don't think I'm going to fit in my dress.... Shit....

My weight today: 72kg

Clothing size 12

Thigh: 61cm

Hips: 98cm

Today I start getting serious about my health. Taking regular supps, gym, diet and water....

Will cont to post progress

Possible scarlett issues and solutions

1: taking a long time to feed and is falling assleep duribg feeds

Pg 82

2. She drinks her full feed but wants more

Pg 82, 85

3. Use 40min for a feed

4.not feeding well at 7am

Pg 91

5.sleepy babies 

Pg 106, 112

6.stimulation time one hr after she is awake and fed. Stop 20min before nap

7. Milk feeding chart pg 131

8.general problems pg 274

9. Read the core nighr pg 305 once she is 4 weeks old

10.5 weeks look at oatmeal cereal

Makeup

Feeling seriously makeup inspired today!! Was on pinterest and all the ideas!!! Obviously i don't know if id be able to do them nevermind pull it off but they're still awesome :)

Thursday 💚

Good goal day. Absa called me early to let me know system was up and running. Quickly did that and got my COO done so sternberg was able to fax it through today for the check :)

Goals: finish scanning Contented baby book. Do my schedule for the next 2 weeks. Cook rest of meals. Absa? COO

Achieved: Absa, COO, started scheduling but not finished.

Anxious: too tired to be anxious. Am overwhelmed about her scheduling.... 

Scarlett scheduling

Try her on the normal schedule, then try diff things depending on her issues. She should be awake a max of 3hrs otherwise will be overtired. Also feed every 3 hrs until she has gained her birth weight

Do a min of contact while feeding. Do not overstimulate.

Split feeding is making up normal feed in 2 smaller bottles

Work out amount of formula: 70ml per pound body weight

7am: 90ml

Should aready be feeding

Do nor feed after 8. If she woke up st 5 or 6 and ate, then offer just a top up now.

In bed by 8:30. When she starts getting drowsy, put her in the cot and take out dummy before she falls asleep.

10-10:30am: 90ml

Must first be fully awake. Wake at 9:45

Feed

Let her have a kick and play

Wash and fully dress

Offer a top up

Will get sleepy by 11-11:info@thinkingmom.co.za15. Should be asleep bt 11:30am

2-2:30pm: 90ml

Wake and change diaper

Feed

Do not feed after 3:15

3:30- change diaper. Taker her for a walk rhis time while she sleeps

5pm: 60ml

Feed a split feed burp feed

Ket her juck while i prepare bath

Bath

Diaper change

Sleep clothes no later than 6-6:15

6-6:15pm: 60ml

Rest of split feed burp feed

Burp

Paci

Put in bed to self soothe no later than 7pm

10-10:30pm: 90ml

Put on bright lights

Allow her to fully wake up while you prepare diaper change

Feed her most of her bottle burp then change nappy and reswaddle

Dim lights

Feed

Bed

2-2:30am: 90ml

Dont put on bright lights

As little fuss as possible

Check diaper

Feed burp feed

Sleep

If she wakes at 5am split feed from 7am feed. Let her nap till 7 and then wake up for new day

7am

New shift

Wednesday ❤️

So woke up early to get all my shit done for my UIF. 1st stop: Absa and guess what?!!!! Still offline! Luckily the girl who helped me is the same one i always get so she was really nice and took my details down. She said she'd call me when it's up and running. 2nd stop: COO. Queue out the door! So that's going to get done tomorrow as well.

The only thing that panned out was the Drs rooms! Can you flippen believe :( Ar least I also go my stool softner (sexy I know) for the hospital and obviously HAD to buy some more outfits for my little girl. Got her the cutest kilt with suspenders!!

Otherwise came home and slept. Hubby going out with friends tonight, told him he must enjoy his last few nights without baba!!! Shame :) 

Anxious: 1/10

Goals: absa coo dr dischem read atkins and baby book. Pack bras nap in afternoon

Achieved: Drs rooms and packed bras. Whoop whoop :/

Last tuesday 💛

Not that concerned today.  Feels more unreal and far away than yesterday. I think I'm just too tired to worry so much. 

Got up at 11. Postponed drs, absa and COO app till tomorrow. Forgot that Betty is coming tomorrow so I'd actually not want to be at home so that we're not under each other feet. Tomorrow will be busy but hopefully only the morning. Sternberg can then fax it Thursday so then at least they have it.

Goals: make more food, nails waxes.

Anxious 1/10

Achieved: made lots of food. Still not done but at least fridge is filling up fast. Got cute nails done (pic below) and all my waxes done. But what was interesting  was my wax. Damn it

Hurt!!! I'm not a sensitive person but it genuinely hurt like hell. Maybe more blood flow making the area more sensitive? Don't know but glad it's over....

Last Monday 💚

Up at 4 because my body was so uncomfortable and started painting..... So did what any normal girl does... Ate 3 yes 3 slices of toast and watched 27 dresses. In bed at 6,up again at 7:30 to make hubby lunch. Napped again till 9:30 then had to get up to get ready to organsie UIF docs. First to Comm of Oath. Ended up going to wrong place so had to go back to police station. At least got it certified then on to bank to 1st: Change my surname to my married one, then get the UIF form filled out. As luck would have it, the Casa system was offline and they couldn't do the surname change.... At least she was able to fill out the UIF form so long but tomorrow it's back to the bank. Last trip was to my Dr to get the medical certificate filled out stating that I was indeed pregnant (ya, like I would fake all this fat and discomfort....) Annnddd as all good service providers, I had to make a app for tomorrow to get the forms signed..... 

Headed home after this but them started meal preps for the upcoming week so that we don't have to worry about food. Did make a awesome choc protein brownie overnight oats. Was loooovvveeelllyyy.... Gnomie starting to stress and is convinced that Miss Scarlett will come early. I doubt it.. Yes I have had several BH but no other symptoms. I think she'll stay in there till the 21st. At least it gives us time to prepare. 

Feelings: unreal, having pain and BH. Lower back pain at night again.

Anxious:  4/10

Goals today: COO, bank, drs rooms

Achieved: went to COO but didn't get everything certified that I needed too.

Banks offline, headed back tomorrow

Drs rooms: made app for tomorrow

Pics:

Overnight oats I made today. Seriously good! 

Last week at work

I have been very quiet the last month... I think it's just baby prep and nerves that have sent me into a hiding hole. This is my last week at work. Excited to be finishing work and too have next week to myself to rest and mentally prepare for my little girls arrival!!! 

This week at work I just want to finialise small things. Also I'm seriously considering silencing all my work related email, group chat etc while I'm on maternity!!! Seriously don't want my work  bothering me with crap while on taking care of a newborn!! :( And of course I've been pinning to my hearts content :D So many cute ideas for my little girl! 

This is the hospital photo I plan on introducing her to the world with! (Of course, mamas going to take her red lipstick with!)

I'd love this in her nursery wall, if I could just find the decal!

Beside the niceties of being a new mommy, I'm also dealing with the admin... Claiming UIF is effort. The queues are ridiculous so I'm seriously considering using a UIF claim service. I hope it's legit and that I'm not going to be ripped off but at this point I'm willing to try anything so that I don't have to stand in those queues.... I'll let you know how it goes :D At least everything with my medical aid is in order so I can relax about that.

Now just the wait.....

:'(

Not been a great day today. For the 2nd time in a month and a half i was in a fender bender... While in a traffic circle a guy T-boned me. Im starting to think i shouldnt be driving red cars.... This is my 3rd accident in a red car. My excess is R4000. Yet another expense i didnt plan on spending. My husabnd said he would gladly pay it so we can get my car fixed and i am very grateful for that and him, but im still not feeling better. Im almost 31 and i feel like i have achieved nothing in life. I dont own any property, i earn a pathetic salary, i have a failed enagagment behind me that almost crippled me, all i have is debt, i have a failed buisness that is still costing me R2800 pm for the next 3 yrs, i have no savings.

My husband owns the house we live in, he has 2 flats, earns a excellent salary, is a engineer with a Masters degree... He pays for everything... I feel incredibly pathetic and under-achieving now... I know it will pass but this is not a great moment for me. Could also be pregnancy hormones and the fact that i am very unhappy with my body right now that is making this worse. Hopefully tomorrow will be better....

Esty

Esty is seriously addictive!!!! Anyone else absolutely love it??? They can be pricey but a beautiful handmade item is worth it for me :)

Here are some of my current favourite finds

Have a great day!! :)))

:((((

Tonight is tough.... My husband had some issues at his work on major project he is working on. Unfortunately the issues that arised where his fault... :(

It was a genuine mistake on his part and it can be rectified but obviously his bosses are not happy with him. He is so down and upset, I don't know what to do to cheer him up! It's not the end of the world but he feels like it is for him.

That's one thing people can't prepare you for when you get married, is how your spouses career affects you. Yes, maybe it's obvious that it will but so intensely??? I feel that his issues affect me more than my work issues. He's the bread winner so if something happens to his work, we'll be in trouble... 

But also, I am over reacting. This is one mistake that can be rectified. I just need to learn to relax! I really wish I would worry less. It's not good for me, my baby or my family. Maybe I should try yoga? It meditation? Need to figure this out...

Pinterest

Ag.... I wish every outfit I pinned automatically appeared in my wardrobe....  

Here are my current favorites 

Current favourites

Here are pictures of some of the pieces that are currently on my lust list!!! :))

Amoralle Lingerie SS2014 



Oroblu launches lingerie for FW2014 ~ ’Red Lips’ Collection preview

Cadolle lace lingerie

 #MaisonClose Petit Secrets collection include the cupless bra, naked shorty & veil 

Murmur clothing

Have a great day! :)